Black man with white female couple
Interracial Couple

Interracial Couples

As the days go by, it seems like I notice interracial couples more and more often. Although I may have an inherent bias, I’ve also seen that there is often this air of smugness or insecurity from one person in these newer couplings.

Despite this observation, I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard someone insist that their relationship has nothing to do with race; my response is always the same: race is always a factor, even if it’s not the definer.

Given this rise in interracial relationships with men and women seeking affection from a different color, I can’t say that I find this influx to be attached to a particular reason; it appears to be a gradual build-up relative to hip hop and social media influences, cultural changes, and an overall shift in public perception.

Men, in particular, have always been open to dating outside of their race, which points to the idea that they are more susceptible to the desire for something outside of their norm. 

Interracial Fetishes

Men appear to fall on the side of fetishizing women outside of their race or ethnicity, whether it’s to be called ‘Papi’ during sex or because they have a different stereotypical notion attached to the experience. I say this because I’ve often observed that the men who date interracially have configured their racial dating habits into a ‘preference .’ That preference almost always excludes someone by their race alone.

Interracial Couple in Bed
Interracial Couple in Bed

Women have only recently begun truly opening themselves up to dating men outside of their race. Particularly in the black community, women who date outside of their race tend to have an aversion to black men. Basketball Wives L.A.  highlighted this regularity with statements from Laura Govan and Jackie Christie boasting that white men are superior. 

Controversial YouTube videos have emerged encouraging black women to stop looking for love within their race, which points more to trauma than actual desire. In the case of women like the Kardashians and Jenners, who seem to date black men who are rappers or NBA stars exclusively, I’d have to lean more to the side of fetishizing certain tropes without question.

Interracial Dating is Not a Fade

Interestingly enough, women who date outside of their race may go back to dating within, but their reasons for interracial dating are typically more complex. With all that being said, no matter the gender of the initiator, I don’t believe it’s always as simple as a discriminatory preference or even a preference hinged on race.  

It may even seem unlikely, but in the interest of evolvement and unity, I, as a black woman, encourage healthy interracial dating. However, specifically seeking out a particular race leaves no room for argument that the rise in interracial dating may not be entirely disingenuous, but it is something that is being consciously sought after.

Written By Jill Hills, Sexpert


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